I belong to the "Mallu Brigade". I am a proud Malayali.
We in Kerala are proud of our ancient culture, our fertile brains , our social fabric, and the beauty of our land.
Kerala is known as God's own country.
Voted as MOST beautiful place on earth by most tourist magazines . (National Geographic put Kerala in the top three).
Seeing is believing- punch in AMAZING KERALA- VADAKAYIL in google search.
Yet, we love a have a nice laugh at ourselves once in a while.
Malayalis can be terribly corny too.
ENJOY!
Pssssst-- In USA they get terribly embarrassed with pink colour, and then if you add Oklahoma , they fall into a dead faint! TEE HEEE!!
Did U know the word "MALAYALAM" spelt back and forward is the same.
That is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.
Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu Baby Sitter who always used to Say "KEEP QUWAIT", "KEEP QUWAIT"
Where did the Malayalee study?
In the KOLLAGE.
Why did he go to Rome?
TO hear POPE Music
What does a Malayalee do when he has to stand for the election in Delhi?
He changes his name Madhavan to M.A. DHAWAN.
That is why we can’t figure out if we are comin’ or going.
Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
He had a Mallu Baby Sitter who always used to Say "KEEP QUWAIT", "KEEP QUWAIT"
Where did the Malayalee study?
In the KOLLAGE.
Why did he go to Rome?
TO hear POPE Music
What does a Malayalee do when he has to stand for the election in Delhi?
He changes his name Madhavan to M.A. DHAWAN.
What does he do when he joins the army?
His name changes from Kandoth Kunhiraman to Gen Candeth.
How does a Malayalee spell ‘Malayalam’?
YAMM – YAY – YELL – YAY – WHY – YAY – YELL – YAY – YUM.
How does a Malayalee spell ‘Malayalam’?
YAMM – YAY – YELL – YAY – WHY – YAY – YELL – YAY – YUM.
Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don’t werk hard?
Kerala.
Kerala.
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle and aundy in the Gelff.
To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle and aundy in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali’s go to the Gelff?
To yearn menney.
To yearn menney.
What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
What is a Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yay.
Yem Bee Yay.
Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.
Because he was louwing another woman.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.
An Oto.
Who is a Malayali’s famous yeactor end yaectress?
Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Why is Kerala the most highly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.
Why are Arab countries looking only for Keralites?
They are ready to do yennything for menney.
They are ready to do yennything for menney.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: You should at least send this mail to:
10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the toddy shop, with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of Calicut black halwa and Chandappan bennena chips free.
10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the toddy shop, with additional incentive of a whole month’s supply of Calicut black halwa and Chandappan bennena chips free.
What is your wife’s name?
Sujitra ( Hope my wife does NOT see this, for she will surely kick mE ass )
A true Mallu will say for 'My goggles are broken" -- " My googles are broaken"
Like how a true Punjabi , like Manmohand Singh will say for " It gives me great pleasure to have a moment of leisure " -- " It gives me great pleayyure to have a moment of leiyyure"
Here is a hilarious conversation between a Mallu CD dealer and a pissed off , squeamish British guy, who finds that a CD he bought does NOT work , and he wants his precious quid back EL PRONTO- within 5 minutes, or else- -- all Mallus will enjoy it 100% -- ( some unadulterated frustrated muttering in lingo -- )
The above picture is my home Akash Ganga ( Milky Way ) in Calicut, Kerala.
In the BBC documentary below, Aryabhatta is mentioned as 600 AD, wwhile actually it is 2700 BC. Newton and Liebniz stole Calculus from a published text in Malayalam written by Madhavan, two centuries before.
CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
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