Saturday, 10 September 2011

MURINGAKAI , QUANTUM MEDICINE AND HAPPINESS TREE—CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL


MORINGA OLEIFERA, THE ANTI NAGGING VEGETABLE


I am reminded of a small anchorage at Fujairah, one decade ago. A Pakistani Third Mate and an Indian Third Mate ( Bihari bhaiyya ) used to start fighting on VHF , as soon as they come on watch.

For 4 full hours they would be trading choicest MA BAHEN abuses, or various variations which included animals too. At the end of the watch they would tell each other " Accha , good night--see you tomorrow!".

It was amusing to monitor this.

And the Pakistani taunts the Indian " Tum shakahari bhojan khaake kya maarega yaar?" ( By eating  vegetarian food what quality screwing are you gonna do, my friend ?)--

I found this so hilarious that even today it brings a smile on my face.

Well vegetarians , read this up-- help is at hand!


Whenever a young officer or sailor signs off my ship to get married , he has to compulsorily go through a 20 minute pep talk with me.

It is about happiness in marriage , avoiding nagging and divorce. Since I am reputed to run a good ship, all pay keen attention. I tell him before signing his CDC and paying him his wages-- “ Son, sit down for a 20 minute session on life management ”

Only we Indians have provided life management answers to this planet , as it requires ancient wisdom, which emanated from deep jungles having fantastic animals, birds , insects and plants.

The gist is as follows, and it is about sex. The prudes can skip the next three paras.

Believe me-- behind closed doors these split-personality prudes can be something else.


A good sex session in bed leaves the woman totally defenceless, unable to move, with every muscle and nerve on her wide open legs quivering for the next 5 minutes.

In fact during the act, she will slide up and come to a sitting position on the bed head stand and you have to pull her down , a couple of times back to a lying position. This is called sheer MAN POWER.

Every woman wants the original caveman when it comes to sex. 



She wants a man with broad shoulders and powerful arms.



She would love to be impaled and lifted off the ground , without use of hands --with sheer manhood power .  99.9999% of women on this planet die without knowing what this means.


During this primal act, which sustains this planet, she does NOT care for your bullshit sense of humor, or your ability to keep her amused, or your bank balance , or your poetry or nice genteel manners or respect for womankind or whispers of sweet nothings or not being a loser or your chivalry or your penchant to whisper sweet nothings or your ability to respect her space or your swank style or your fan following or the type of car your drive or your deadly IQ -- or whatever.



All she wants is to be roughly dominated and to be given a good manful pounding.

As soon as she regains control over the muscles of her trembling legs and tingling nerves and pores, you tell her to make fried eggs and coffee for you, just see the way she runs to make it, in a grateful manner. And see if she dares to nag you, against the laws of nature, that day at least.


If you have screwed her like a weakling Khargosh (rabbit), she will tell you to make your own dang coffee and eggs—and while you make it she will be nagging your all the while, from bed.


All around you see couples getting divorced. One of the main reasons is nagging—the drip drip, constant nag or it can be the hurricane force nagging. The marriage is now full of negativity, contempt, one-upmanship and resentment. It is a black hole vortex , and once you cross the event horizon, the net result is a miserable divorce—and the uprooted lives of small happy children.

Contrary to what is written , men feel the after effects more than a woman—but his pride prevents him from letting this secret out. . The woman will sooner or later, find someone very soon and she will wipe her slate off clean. The children more often than not, become misfits and misanthropes.

When a married woman is stressed the hormonal changes in her body trigger a chemical reaction causing sex hormone binding globulin to bind with testosterone cells, which makes them unavailable for libido . Have you ever noticed the middle life crisis of a woman?. So when she is given good sex feel good chemicals like endorphins and oxytocin are released which eases her frustrations and makes her run to make coffee and fried eggs for you.

So it is the job of a man to continue with a good sex life.Now this is easier said than done. You could marry the most beautiful girl in the world, but after a couple of months she wont turn you on physically. This is the way god has made man. He needs some assistance to charge him up. Viagra has come into the market and saved many western marriages. Indian marriages are not reliant on sex, but it is more commitment based. But still nagging or sullen indifference remains a huge factor.


I have gone too much off tangent. Oysters , clams and mussels ( Kadukka ) have high levels of sexual performance enhancing zinc and proteins and aid in releasing sexual hormones like testosterone and estrogen. However they have lot of calories, and you need to be non-vegetarian and living next to the sea coast.


There is a cheap vegetable which can do much more.

This is where Muringa comes in.

Muringakai first developed in Kerala and Sri Lanka. From there it spread to the whole of India as an Ayurvedic herb and food. After the British invaded India it has been planted all around the globe. India is still the largest producer of Moringa on this planet. This plant though tropical, is a survivor and needs little water, but loves the hot sun.

This fast growing tree can be planted just by shoving a small branch into the ground, the right end down. Make sure you trim the tree regularly , or it grows too tall, and you cant get the leaves and drumsticks. As per 7000 year old written Ayurvedic texts ,the whole tree is useful, including its fruit, leaves, flowers bark, sap and roots. In Kerala we have been eating Muringa since the past 1000 years.

If Popeye the sailor man had heard of Muringa leaves , he would never ever eat spinach. For this leaf does several times more good, and more important it will give him a rock-hard hard-on, which stays longer.


In Kerala the bridegroom is invariable given Avial curry on his wedding night, whose main ingredient is Muringakai , the long vegetable—also known as drumstick. And next day, just inspect his back—it will be scratched and bleeding all over.

On the next day after my wedding , we had to go to a local temple. There I had to remove my shirt , as is tradition and men and women stand in different lines. I was wondering why all girls were giggling and having a ball, while my wife alone was standing there red faced and grim with a wrinkle on her chin. ( I hope my wife does NOT read this , for she will kick mE ass )

Sambhar curry for the Tamils has Muringa as a major ingredient.

Gram for gram powerhouse Muringa leaves have more Iron than spinach, Calcium than milk ( 3 times ) , Potassium than bananas ( 2 times ) , vitamin C than oranges ( 6 times ) , Vitamin A than carrots ( 4 times ) and rivals protein from eggs without the cholesterol from yellow yolk..

Never mind what others say, Muringa is best when fresh. It loses a percentage of its properties when dried and powdered. WHO recommends Muringa in daily diet, and I am sure they know what they say.

Need I say more? Allow me to continue.

Let me list some uses:--


Tasty food-- drumstick and leaves provide excellent and cheap nutrition , as it grows wild. Good for stamina and strength.


Infants get better quality milk from a lactating mother if she has the cooked leaves as food, as it promotes digestion too.


Leaves as food makes the skin glow and enriches anemic blood.


Leaves have high fibre content and is anti flatulent.


Antibacterial


Antibiotic


Anti fungal


Anti epileptic and antispasmodic


Juice from leaves stops shallow bleeding


Juice from leaves as poultice on sores, anti-septic.


Juice from leaves applied on the body can protect tissues from nuclear radiation fallout.


Leaves as food reduce severe side effects of chemo therapy, as it is anti-tumor and anti inflammatory.


Juice of raw leaves for intestinal worms—mixed with honey.


Leaves good for diabetes , controls glucose levels


Leaves good as diuretic and stabilizing blood pressure


Muringa seed pleasant oil good for cooking.


Root paste is constipating and can treat worms


Seeds are purgative


Flower juice encourages urination


Seed oil for hysteria


Tree bark , root and gum is used in Ayurvedic kashayam tonics


Grace and peace!





CAPT AJIT VADAKAYIL
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